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I have included a meter to show the progress we are making towards one full scholarship. To find out more details, please see the "Scholarship" page at the top of the website.
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T’was the night before our lives changed, forever in our house, No one could have known, not even a mouse. For our hopes hung in the balance with all human care, In the hopes that our prayers would be answered right there. The people who loved her went off to their beds, While they laid there and slept or prayed in their heads. And daddy had his hope, and mommy had her fears, Because the next . . . → Click Here To Read More: T’was the Night Before Our Lives Changed  Leave a comment  Poetry - Rhyming  angel, child, child loss, children, clothing, Dad, death, dedication, disbelief, entertaining, freeing, frustration, Grandparent(s), grateful, grief, growth, healing, heartbroken, heartwarming, hopeless, hurt, incredible, innocence, interesting, loneliness, loss, love, memories, missing her, mom, pain, parenting, peace, precious, regret, sadness, unbelievable Today is Mari’s birthday, or at least it would have been. She would have turned 9 years old. I think back to 9 years ago and how I had a very difficult time delivering her. She had an extremely hard time coming into this world. It seems like she has always been a fighter. She always fought for what SHE wanted. It did not matter what anyone else wanted. Mari would have had such a good time today. All of her cousins from her daddy’s side were here today, her aunt’s and some of her uncles, and . . . → Click Here To Read More: Mari’s 9th birthday was today I sit here on our flight from Hawaii back to Chicago. It amazes me how quickly this past week and a half went by. We had Christmas in Hawaii. For the first time in my life I was not excited about the holiday so many people always love and cherish. For me, it is just a reminder of what I am missing and how much I miss her. I sit here on our flight just trying not to cry. The pain is so deep and still so fresh. I know it has been over 5 months yet . . . → Click Here To Read More: Back from Hawaii I created a memorial tribute page that I would like everyone to visit that is dedicated to Mariana. It is on a special website I found while looking for support while grieving for Mariana. Please let me know what you think of this tribute to Mari. I think about how time can be more precious than most really think about or even care to think about. Because if we think about how precious time really is we then begin to realize that it is not infinite. We only have a limited amount of time, each and everyone of us, here on this earth. When our time is up, it is up. There is no amount of begging or pleading that can keep us here or those that we love. I can remember sitting in the hospital at the beginning of her getting sick . . . → Click Here To Read More: Time and How Precious It Really Is I sit on our flight to Hawaii and think about our beloved baby girl Mari who left us in July to go to heaven before her time. I know some people will say that it must have been her time because she is gone. In my heart, and my soul, and my mind it was not yet her time. Her time would have been after daddy and mommy were gone and not a day before. Daddy and I are going to Hawaii today because of a dear, loving uncle of mine who gave to us hotel accommodations . . . → Click Here To Read More: On our way to Hawaii Leave a comment Holidays - Christmas, My Writing - In The Moment angel, anger, child, child loss, children, Dad, death, dedication, disbelief, entertaining, exciting, freeing, frustration, fun, grateful, grief, growth, happiness, healing, heartbroken, hopeless, hurt, incredible, interesting, loneliness, loss, love, memories, missing her, mom, pain, parenting, regret, sadness, unbelievable I wrote this the other day while sitting on our flight from Chicago to Honolulu. I wrote this song to the melody of this song: I love you Lord And I lift my voice To worship you Oh my soul rejoice Take joy my King In what You hear May it be a sweet, sweet voice In Your ear This is my song to Mari called “I Love You Mari”: . . . → Click Here To Read More: Mari’s Song This is my very first poem I have ever written. I know it is not like some of the great poetry out there today by some of the greats but it is from the bottom of my heart and in complete dedication to my beautiful baby girl. I love you sweetie and miss you very much. When I lie awake at night All I do is think of you as my guiding light You helped me to see That my life became complete because of thee To have known you Is to . . . → Click Here To Read More: A Poem to Mari Casting Crowns is one of my favorite groups if not my favorite. What I like about this group is their words. They are not afraid to tell it like it is. When my daughter passed away this past summer I had someone from our church sing this song. It was how we closed out her funeral service. This song says so much as to how Keith and I are feeling right now and will probably feel for some time to come. I hope these words mean as much to you as they have . . . → Click Here To Read More: Praise You In This Storm This is dedicated to the man I love with all of my heart. I write this for the one man in my life that has shown me what love is supposed to look like. We have our good days and we definitely have our bad ones as well. We have times of happiness and times of trial. But mostly we just have each other. The love we have for each other runs so deep, so strong it is hard to describe. To trust him is like nothing else one could experience. I trust him fully. I know . . . → Click Here To Read More: A Dedication to My Other Half This video is a dedication to our daughter Mariana. It was created by a friend and it was played at her wake and before her funeral started. I wanted to share it with everyone because of how much it meant to Keith and I and our family. Please let us know what you think. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5154633826605256875 swfobject.embedSWF(“http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=5154633826605256875″, “vvq-470-googlevideo-1″, “400″, “326″, “10″, vvqexpressinstall, { “wmode”: “opaque”, “allowfullscreen”: “true”, “allowscriptaccess”: “always”, “fs”: “true” }, vvqparams, vvqattributes); Leave a comment Multimedia - Photos, Multimedia - Slideshow, Multimedia - Videos - Google Video angel, child, child loss, children, dedication, freeing, grateful, grief, happiness, healing, heartbroken, heartwarming, hurt, incredible, innocence, joy, loss, love, memories, missing her, precious, sadness This tribute was written by a very special teacher. She was not Mari’s first teacher but she was the first teacher to truly help my daughter like no other teacher had. Her name is Julie Ahlbach. Before Mari came to her classroom I don’t believe she had a lot of experience with children who had autism, let alone as severe as my daughter’s was. I was always the advocate for Mari and I fought to get my daughter into an all day program before most children were aloud to. Mari’s teacher before Julie told me one time . . . → Click Here To Read More: A tribute from a very special teacher This poem was first introduced to me by a friend. He created the dedication video of Mari’s pictures that were put to music and then at the end he had a neat surprise for us. He had his daughter say this poem at the end of the show with Mari’s’ picture there. His daughter was going to read the poem at her funeral but it was just too hard for her to do because the reality was a little girl about her age had died and just too much for her. So her daddy read the poem. . . . → Click Here To Read More: Letter from Heaven Leave a comment Multimedia - Photos, Multimedia - Slideshow, Multimedia - Videos - Google Video, Poetry - Rhyming angel, child, child loss, children, death, dedication, disbelief, entertaining, freeing, grateful, grief, growth, happiness, healing, heartbroken, heartwarming, hurt, incredible, innocence, interesting, joy, loneliness, loss, love, missing her, pain, peace, precious, sadness, unbelievable What would tomorrow bring if life could be the way we want it. First, Mari would be here. She would never have gotten sick to begin with. She would have stayed perfectly healthy. She would be laughing, and playing, and simply being Mari. She would watch one of her favorite shows or one of her favorite movies and then start to flap her arms in excitement because she is just so darn excited she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She would still be here to let us know when she is hungry by saying “Eat . . . → Click Here To Read More: What if I could have what I wanted Leave a comment My Writing - In The Moment, My Writing - Reflection angel, child, child loss, children, Dad, death, dedication, disbelief, freeing, Grandparent(s), grateful, grief, growth, happiness, heartbroken, heartwarming, hopeless, hurt, incredible, innocence, interesting, joy, loss, love, memories, missing her, mom, pain, parenting, precious, regret, sadness Today is a day I have been dreading Today is a day that sucks Today is a day that I wish had never come Today is just hard Today is just painful Today makes me think too much Today makes me relive the past I wish I could go back somehow I wish I could go back any way possible I wish there was a time machine to take me back I wish there was a way I just simply wish Today is a day that makes me sad Today is a day that makes me cry . . . → Click Here To Read More: Today… |
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