I typically sit in my house during the day by myself, with no TV on or a radio playing in the background. It is just quiet (other than my puppy and kitty playing). But today I decided to open of Windows Media Center and play some of my songs. Then I go to thinking about Natalie Grant’s song. My cousin Tracey had sent me her CD Awaken about two months after Mari had died and the song “Held” struck me right to the heart. These are the words, and to hear the song is even more powerful. . . . → Click Here To Read More: “Held”…
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How am I supposed to live my life without her? How am I supposed to? I sit here in complete confusion as to how I am supposed to do this. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I don’t understand. I just simply don’t understand. Mari is gone and yet I am still here. Mari is gone and yet I am just supposed to move on with my life. But Mari is gone. There is not an instruction manual on how to move on with your life once your one and only child is gone from it. I just . . . → Click Here To Read More: How am I supposed to live my life without her? Tonight I sit here in my creative writing nonfiction class and I am having such a hard time concentrating. I just wish I had stayed home tonight instead of coming to class. I feel bad because I was not as prepared as I would normally have been. I had only fully read one of the two stories. I had only ready about the first third of the second story and about the last third. I briefly skimmed through the middle section. I felt totally unprepared when it came to the quiz tonight. He asked three questions from each story. I . . . → Click Here To Read More: Sitting in class… I miss Mari so much today. I’m not even sure why. I talked with an old family friend I have known since I was probably about 4 or 5 years old today. She lost a son a couple of years ago so she knows what it is like to lose a child. She is a good person to talk to. For some reason I keep thinking back to the Saturday, the day after her cerebral hemorage and cardiac arrest, and when the PICU attending told us it was the worst CT . . . → Click Here To Read More: Missing her… Today is a day of utter loneliness. I can’t explain it. All I want to do is just sit here and cry. I am at home all alone. I really don’t feel like talking to anyone yet I wish someone was here. Keith is at work. Those that I do call are either not answering their phones or they are out and about running errands. I know it is not anyone’s job to keep me company or help me to feel better. I just wish I did not feel so lonely. The loneliness goes clear to the very . . . → Click Here To Read More: Loneliness I wanted to share this story with everyone. I hope you all enjoy it. It is a beautiful mid-spring afternoon. The temperature outside is approximately 75 degrees. It is a perfect day to accomplish what had been eluding Marie since she started. Could it happen today? Could that all important achievement happen in her life today of all days? She definitely doubts herself. She hasn’t been able to do it as of yet. Every attempt has ultimately ended in defeat. She leaves utterly disappointed because, yet again, she is unsuccessful in her one goal: being able . . . → Click Here To Read More: Marie’s Unrealized Dream |
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Comments and Feedback
A friend of mine told me she comes to this website everyday to see what I have posted and is disappointed when there isn’t anything. I am going to try something new. I want to try to post at least one thing a day just to let you all know how I am doing. Sometimes I will just tell you how my day went and other times I will write out something like I usually post. I hope everyone will like this. Please keep your comments coming as I love to hear feedback from those who care . . . → Click Here To Read More: Comments and Feedback